“The Gift of Friendship” by Bronwyn Cowell
“Taking it with a Grain of Salt” by Judi Coleman
“Insurance Woes to Wonders” by Bronwyn Cowell
"Father, Please Never Leave Me!" by Lizette Keith
"Never Give Up!" by Judi Coleman
It was just an ordinary day until the doorbell rang. There on our front porch stood the postman with a long, rectangular box. “I didn’t order anything, did you?” my husband asked.“No,” I replied, as puzzled as he was.
We eagerly sat the mystery box on our dining room table and began opening it. I had collected dolls for several years but had been forced to stop when we simply ran out of room in our home; however, I’d never given up my love for collectable dolls. As we began to open the box, I thought, “This is just the right size for a doll.” I saw that the sender was Diane, a precious friend who I met on a doll website several years ago. We had a habit of exchanging Christmas and birthday gifts, and it was almost my birthday. I tried not to get too excited as I told myself, “Oh, Diane is probably just sending my birthday present in one of her old doll boxes.”
My husband helped me open the big brown box. Inside was another box. Gleefully I thought, “This is the way my dolls were always packaged with an outer and an inner box. But no,” I kept telling myself, “It couldn’t be a doll. But, wait,” I thought, “There’s a doll’s name on the box. Quit playing this game! It is NOT a doll.”
After we opened the second box, my husband broke into a big smile as we slowly pulled back the tissue paper. There, to my delight, we found a beautiful green-eyed, blonde doll all dressed up in a patriotic red, white and blue outfit! Her name was “Cadi”. As I looked into Cadi’s sweet face, I saw more than a doll. I saw a reminder of the love and devotion of a precious friend who cared about my pain. I was deeply touched by her generous act of love.
The surprises of this birthday continued, as another friend, Patsy, who has supported me in many, many ways throughout my walk with facial pain, made not one, but TWO birthday cakes! She knew I loved coconut cake, but that my husband did not, so she made a coconut for me and a vanilla cake for him! Now, that’s a real friend!
Friends have been a great source of comfort and strength in my path with facial pain. I thank God for the precious people He has placed in my life. The cards, phone calls, meals, visits, the “girlfriend outings,” and all of the other thoughtful acts of kindness given from the heart make the pain much easier to bear. Thank you, Lord, for my friends.
Bronwyn Cowell
Bristol, VA
Taking it with a Grain of Salt
The doctor opened David’s chart and began to describe a multitude of problems with our newborn, using terms that meant little to me (which didn’t matter much, since I couldn’t hear anything over the pounding of my heart). After a few minutes, he closed the chart, removed his glasses, and leaned in closely towards my husband and me, preparing to present us with the final “clincher.” He told us that David exhibited a rare and very serious anomaly on his left palm. Whereas, most of us have two or three horizontal palm creases, he explained, David was born with just one solid crease running the width of his palm. As he spoke, Warren and I instinctively looked at our own palms, while he explained how this was found in less than 5% of the population, primarily in people of Filipino heritage (which we were not), and, with children who have serious birth defects. Too shocked to respond, I continued to stare at my own palm while the words, “serious birth defects” resonated through my head.
Warren’s mom, who had been sitting quietly in the background, suddenly stood upright and moved to stand where we were huddled together. She lifted her hand so that we could all see her palm, as she politely but matter-of-factly directed her words to the doctor. “Well, maybe what you say is true, about it being a rare thing and all - but I’ve got one of those myself.” I could have picked her up and hugged her forever at that moment!
Warren and I grabbed her palm for a closer look, as our brains absorbed this wonderful new information, and found ourselves suddenly laughing and crying at the same time. The doctor, still dumbstruck as he wrestled with how very wrong statistics could be, mumbled something about medicine being an inexact science, and quickly excused himself from our impromptu celebration.
This experience has helped me often along my journey with facial pain. When the diagnosis seems dire, or the treatment seems unbearable, I try to take it all with a grain of salt. I have learned that doctors don’t know everything, and I always leave room for the improbable. A little seasoning goes a long way to make the pain much more bearable!
Judi Coleman
Richmond, Virginia
As I stared at the piece of paper in his hand, my heart sank. It was a hospital bill for my recent gamma knife surgery. How could this have happened? The code on the bill said that, because we didn't have preauthorization, we now owed $32,000. That would take years for us to pay, and since I had only recently had the surgery, we didn’t know if it had worked yet! I knew that God was in the miracle business, but could He handle this? In my heart I knew He could, but would He?
I worried for my precious husband who had stood by me throughout all my health ordeals, for I wondered if this was too much. How much could he bear? I decided to fight back. When the insurance had denied preauthorization for my surgery at a hospital that was out- of- network, I was told that it could be covered under the out- of- network level, which was 80%. I called the main office of my insurance company and explained the problem. I informed the representative that a certain lady had given me the green light for my surgery. “Well,” she said. “Gamma knife surgery is very expensive and requires preauthorization.”
“We can’t afford to pay $32,000,” I said. “That will be financial ruin for us.”
“You need to have your doctor re-submit a request for the surgery.”
“But I’ve already had the surgery.”
“That’s alright,” she said. “It can still be re-submitted. It will take some time to get an answer.”
My mind raced back through the events that had made me confident that my surgery would be covered. I recalled that two days before my surgery, the hospital had phoned my husband to inform him that the insurance company was not going to pay one penny for the surgery. I immediately called the insurance representative and was given the go ahead, assured that I was covered. When I passed along this information to the insurance representative at the hospital, she verified that I was covered. So, what was going to happen now?
My sister had a friend who worked for a large insurance company. She gave me great advice and encouraged me to begin an appeals process. I did all of the paperwork under her guidance. My attorney brother assured me that I just needed to stand my ground. Family and friends were praying for a good outcome, and my sleepless nights and anxious days were starting to melt away. I couldn’t imagine how, but I knew God could work this out.
My husband and I checked the insurance website numerous times every day to see if the insurance had paid the $32,000. Then it happened. My husband sent me an email that said, “Check the website. PTL”
There it was in black and white: “Patient owes $00.00.” The heart that had sunk in despair now rejoiced in gratitude. God had answered our prayers, and I had learned once again that He can indeed handle anything in my life.
Bronwyn Cowell
Bristol, Virginia
Father, Please Never Leave Me!
You hear me, I know it; and you see me sitting here in pain; you know my every thought, my every feeling and physical sensation—you are ever-present in my walk through life. Lord, how do I deal with this pain that wraps my body in its grip and creates words of despair that leach out onto my lips? How do I deal with the loneliness of self!
Hear my heart, Lord; read my thoughts, and envelope me in the warmth of your love. For it is on days like this, when I need you the most. I cry from pain, from fear, from hurt, and from failing to understand my role in all this. Why do some suffer more than others, Father? Why do some hurt with pain that others do not know or understand? Where is strength to be found? I am weak and weary for I fear this day and the days to come. Where will your compass direct me? My pain-filled brain makes it hard to discern, Lord; I am afraid of making a wrong turn.
Yet, I know I need not fear, because you will set me on the right path. Even now, I sense your strength filling in the empty and hurting spaces in my life. Cause me to seek after you in every aspect of my life. Give me strength to accept this disease, and this pain, knowing someday its purpose will be made known to me. Make the emptiness I feel in my heart turn me to you to fill up all my needs.
Thank you for hearing my heart’s cry. Thank you that I can be honest with you alone, knowing that you will never give up on me or leave me. And, Oh Lord, please bless all who suffer from Trigeminal Neuralgia.
Amen.
Lizette Keith
Houston, Texas
My husband and I hesitated to consider surgery again, given my first experience, but soon believed we must explore surgical options, as medication provided less and less help. Prior to my earlier surgery, there had been a particular neurosurgeon we wanted to see, because we knew of his reputation, and had been very impressed with his staff’s response to our request for information, along with receiving a personal recommendation from one of his patients. However, our insurance company did not participate with his hospital. So, we had dropped the idea, disappointed.
As my pain grew, however, we determined that we needed to see this surgeon, at least for a consult, which would cost us about $400.00. We made an appointment, and drove the three hours full of guarded hope, too scared to talk about how much it was going to cost us for fear we would change our minds and turn around. As soon as we arrived, during check-in, our fears turned to hope, when an astute staff member determined that we did, indeed, have insurance coverage! After proclaiming her as “my new best friend” we made our way to meet the physician assistant, even more certain we were in the right place.
The physician assistant patiently listened while my husband and I spilled out before her the months of torture with this illness, and our heart break at having had a poor outcome from surgery. Afterwards, she helped us pick up the pieces as she encouraged and educated us about my possibilities for additional surgery. She did not make any promises, or offer any easy fixes…as she prepared us for our time with the surgeon. When he arrived, it was like greeting someone I had missed for a long, long time, even though I had never met him before. He understood my physical pain and our fear, and told us what we might and might not expect from more surgery, explaining the procedures and presenting us with his recommendations. Whereas, I did not believe we had been well informed by my previous surgeon regarding the pros and cons of the procedure, and had felt very pressured into making a quick surgical decision, this surgeon’s style was just the opposite. He wanted us to carefully consider all the pros and cons, to take our time to do our own research in to make our best decision.
We left feeling more hope than we had felt for a long, long time. After doing our own research, we decided to have a Glycerol Rizotomy. I would have preferred to have had a Microvascular Decompression but the surgeon did not think my brain was ready for another invasive procedure.
A month later, I had a successful Rizotomy, which kept the TN pain away for a while until I could have a MVD. (Our surgeon had prepared us for the Rizotomy to be effective for 1 to 5 years.) I was able to have a MVD a year later, which successfully has treated my TN pain. In addition, I am very thankful that the debilitating head pain response to cold, along with the migraines have never returned.
I’ve learned that we must never give up. There is always another door to walk through. Pain will not defeat us if we keep looking forward and doing what it takes to live well.
Judi Coleman
Richmond, Virginia
