The Spirit Connection

The third prong in living as well as you can, lies in the spiritual part of your lives. Each of us has the innate desire to believe in and to live according to values that are greater than ourselves.

Keep a Journal

Keeping a journal of your thoughts, experiences, and honest feelings will enable you to process your spiritual life more openly. Here are some ideas for keeping one:

1. Write on paper, in a journal “book”, or on index cards; or type it into your computer.
2. Write at a certain time each day, to get you into the habit.
3. Don’t worry about what you write about, or about whether you write “well”. You can write about your day, your feelings, your fears. . . anything at all.

When you make journaling a practice, you may begin to see consistent themes to process and explore; opening up the thoughtful, spiritual side of yourself. Doing so may cause the pain to lose its power over you.

How to Deal with the “Why” Question

Sooner or later, the big, ugly “why” question comes to taunt us. “Why do I have this ‘thing’; and why now?”

It will sneak into our thoughts just as we are about to nod off to sleep, stealing our peace and rest with it. Or, it will come screaming out of our mouths, when we are struck down with a jolt of pain that leaves us shaking and breathless.

The truth is that we may never get to know or understand “why” - at least not in this life. However, we are given a great opportunity to determine just “what” we are going to do with our lives. I know people around me who have suffered greatly, yet they have found the “what” that gives their lives greater meaning, and undeniable purpose.

One of my dearest friends, Lynn Hardwicke, who developed breast cancer at a young age, went on to form a group called “GodCan” to help others who have cancer.  Lynn amazes me each day with her inner strength and outward care for others.

Joe and Martha Slay, a dynamic and talented couple, faced near heartbreak when their first-born son was diagnosed with a debilitating and incurable illness, Spinal Muscular Atrophy. They turned their despair into action, founding an organization called “Fight SMA” that works to create a way to accelerate treatments and a future cure for this illness. Go to fightsma.org for more information

My dad, Byron Spear, when he was very ill with cancer, said to me, “Cancer has been a gift. God has allowed me to encourage so many more people than I would have ever been able to touch without it. Plus, God has given me the opportunity to truly appreciate what time I have left, and to use it well.” Even as I watched my dad’s physical body failing, I sensed his spirit life expanding, as though the very air around him became brighter, and sweeter-smelling.

When Jason Ray, a college student at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, was struck and killed by a car while walking alongside the road, his family was so touched by how many people benefited from Jason’s organ donation, that they began a quest to get people to register as organ donors on their Driver’s Licenses. This unassuming family wound up on ESPN and Oprah, and have influenced organ donation significantly through their efforts. Go to www.sharenj.org for more information.

I’ve been lucky to know these people, and I’ll bet you know someone like them. I’ve found they share three traits in common:

1. They become others-oriented, rather than self-centered. Rather than falling to the temptation of focusing on their own problems, they reach out to others.
2. They refuse to be defeated, or to give up. They believe they can make a difference and they become focused on the things they can impact.
3. They acknowledge that there are greater forces at work. They believe that there is more to this life than what they can see with their own eyes, and they seek to believe they are guided by God.

I’ve come to recognize that there are miracles at work in the “whys” of our lives. So, rather than asking “Why?” focus on the “What”!

Growing in Spirituality

Further Reading

Here are some books which better express my feeble thoughts. I’ve selected them in particular, because they speak to the issues we deal with as people with facial pain:

When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes

God, Do You Really Care? By Tony Evans

The Grace Awakening by Charles R. Swindoll

90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper

With Great Mercy by Kathy Gilbert Taylor (Available in our Products section. Also, her website is a great resource.)

 

Bible Study, Prayer and Meditation

Hand in hand with faith is the practice of bible study, prayer and meditation. I find praying bible scriptures to be one of my greatest vehicles for managing excruciating pain. I take a verse like, “Trust in the Lord with your whole heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6) I then turn it into a personal prayer like this:

I am leaning on and trusting in and claiming my confidence to be in You, Lord, with all my heart; I will not rely on my own limited understanding of this illness. Instead, I will acknowledge You as Lord of my life, believing that you will put me on the right path. (Proverbs 3: 5-6)

There are many good resources to help you better understand the bible, and to learn more about prayer and meditation.  You will find “google” to be a good resource.  One site I particulary like is called Biblegateway.com.

Prayer and study require quiet, contemplation and diligence. A singer I heard one time called it “Going Steady with EDDY - Early, Daily, Diligently and Yieldingly.”